| Find the Right Guide to Recovery | | | | therapist will balance genuine empathy with strict |
| Recovery is most likely to happen when families | | | | accountability. Many counselors can be empathetic |
| are willing to closely follow an expert's advice for | | | | to a fault; they care, but they don't hold their |
| a treatment plan. | | | | clients accountable. |
| To do that obviously takes trust in the person | | | | Your counselor not only needs a strong plan, they |
| you've enlisted to guide your teenager's journey | | | | need to enforce the expectation that you don't |
| toward recovery. | | | | deviate from that plan. That may mean |
| So, what should you look for when you consult a | | | | confronting a teenager who doesn't come in for a |
| therapist? | | | | scheduled urine test. When I end up in those |
| 1. They have a plan. When you first meet with a | | | | conversations, I tell kids, "Listen, I hate talking |
| counselor, look for them to have a very clear | | | | about this as much as you do. But it's too |
| plan for how they are going to attempt to affect | | | | important not to talk about it. You've got to do it." |
| change in your child's life. You should walk out of | | | | A therapist has to hold parents accountable, too. |
| the initial consultation with a definite sense of | | | | If you've let you child go to a party with a group |
| what that plan is. | | | | of friends he's used drugs with in the past, your |
| 2. Welcome challenges to your comfort zone. | | | | counselor needs to call you on it. It can be tough |
| When the therapist explains their approach, it's | | | | to hold firm on the boundaries your family needs |
| actually a good thing if some of their strategies | | | | to help your child recover. Your counselor can be |
| sound new and even make you a little | | | | an impartial third party who keeps everyone on |
| uncomfortable. | | | | track. |
| Your family's way of trying to deal with this | | | | 5. They should be open to questions. If you ask |
| problem hasn't been working-that's why you need | | | | why a prospective therapist follows the plan they |
| help. So you want to find yourself thinking, "Wow, | | | | do, are they defensive? They should be confident |
| we hadn't thought of that." Or even "That | | | | in their approach, and willing to explain it so you |
| approach seems a little extreme." | | | | can understand where they're coming from. |
| 3. Look for empathy. The biggest predictor of an | | | | Before you commit to closely following a |
| effective substance abuse counselor is empathy. | | | | counselor's treatment plan, you need to know |
| A counselor should be able to effectively engage | | | | what you're in for and be ready to sign on. Don't |
| your child in a meaningful way pretty early on. | | | | be afraid to talk to more than one therapist. |
| Of course, teenagers aren't going to love being | | | | Can they differentiate themselves from what |
| challenged about their behavior. As parents, you | | | | others do? I can tell parents frankly that they can |
| may hear some hard feedback and be asked to | | | | find counselors who will expect less of them and |
| answer questions that feel invasive. But in the | | | | their child. For example, they can find a shorter |
| midst of this, you and your child should feel like | | | | treatment plan, they may not have to go to |
| the therapist really seems to care and to | | | | family sessions and another therapist might not |
| understand. | | | | expect their teenager to go to AA meetings. |
| No matter how hardened a teenager has | | | | Take the time you need to find the right ally for |
| become, it's hard to dislike someone when they | | | | your family. In the end, there's real freedom in |
| genuinely care about you. The counselor you | | | | finding a substance abuse counselor you can trust |
| choose to work with needs to be able to forge | | | | to walk your family through the steps to |
| an alliance with your child and your family. | | | | recovery. |
| 4. Accountability is equally critical. An effective | | | | |